


we're through

by emogothXx



Category: High School DxD, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, ストライク・ザ・ブラッド | Strike the Blood (Anime)
Genre: Condoms, Drama, Fighting, Hurt, Other, Shopping, scoutinglegion, surveycorps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-11-26 21:43:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emogothXx/pseuds/emogothXx
Summary: Not sure how popular Strike The Blood is, let alone it’s characters. but if I told you there’re gonna be Attack on Titan characters here, will you be happy? Kiriha Kisaki, one of my fave characters from that wonderful yet irritating anime, has gotten into a helluva squabble with Rias Gremory (forgot to mention there’s High School dxd as well). Thing is, I used to be a fan of Rias and shipped her with Issei. Now that I’ve lost my interest in them, this fic is basically how I say goodbye to them.





	1. bananas and condoms

**Author's Note:**

> Now it’s time for some PS’s as usual.  
PS number one: I love futanari. The reason why I mentioned this will be explained further in the story. So don’t be like “girls don’t has dicks!!11” I know. I know. I’m familiar with anatomical aspects so don’t correct me! The details of my anatomy headcanon are explained in my profile.  
PS number two: the other members of the scouting legion include other anime characters, kapeesh?  
PS number three: The brands that’re gonna be mentioned are NOT for advertisement purposes. I just really needed names and wasn’t gonna spend about two hours stuck in front of my pc making up some!  
PS number four: instead of titan shifters, you have digimon shifters. But they regenerate rapidly like the titans and are slightly stronger than regular people.  
PS nymber five: a Vybo is a steed animal. they mainly have fangs and claws but vary in ear, tail and mane shapes and they have the same gender terms as horses.  
PS number six: bad puns.

“I get it! to you, I’m a thief! Well, newsflash, Rias! I’m not!!” I yelled as I stomped towards Vex, my paint colored mare, got ahold of her saddle to prepare to mount her and get the hell out of this shithole of a household.

“you get back here, young lady! I will not stand for this!” that was the pathetic excuse of an order Rias Gremory threw at me, as if it would help her case somehow. First she accused me of theft, now she has the audacity to order me around?? all that did was piss me off even more like poking a bear with a stick.

“ ‘get back’ my asshole! If you really trusted me and had any respect, the thought would never have crossed your mind! Not to mention all the shit I had to go through because of your cunty stunt!”

“Kiri, calm down-“ “shut up, Issei!!” I don’t mean to snap at him. He’s a good guy. He really is. But all that piled up exhaustion from the hard work I did with those rich pricks must have gotten out along with all the rage I felt at Rias’s shitty allegation.

“I’m leaving your household and never come back again if that’s how you’re gonna express your gratitude!!!” I mounted my mare and roughly nudged her to the designated direction. I didn’t mean to take it out on her, but when you lose your temper, you lose control.

“Kiri, hold on just a sec. think about what you’re doing” interfered Issei while getting ahold of my mare’s reins to stop her from advancing. “think about what? That I’m preserving my dignity by abandoning the people who treated me like scum after all what I have done for them? I don’t think it needs any brain power”. I growled the last sentence sarcastically then I gave one last cold look to Rias and said what I hoped to be my last words to her “we’re through”. Then I gave Vex a good kick to force her out of Issei’s grip and went back home to some real people. The survey corps.

***freeze screen***

Whoa whoa, way to start a story, no? guess I should start from the beginning. Can’t just leave you hanging with mouth open wide and drooling while you wonder what the diddly duff just happened. lemme tell you what transpired between me and those devil guys before shit hit the fan, the air conditioner and whatever house appliances you own. have a seat and bring some popcorn, you’ve got some listening to do.

***rewinds***

“Kiri. c’mere, sweety.” “commander?” I acknowledged my highest ranking superior officer, Hanji-san, and see what is on her mind. She handed me an envelope that looked kinda important. How do I know? Cuz I’m smart as fuck, that’s why. 10 points for me, thank you.

“I’d like you to make this delivery to the military’s post office. It’s a request to increase our budget”

“yes, ma’am” I accepted the envelop from her, pocketed it in my uniform jacket, then headed over to the office area to slip them the important looking piece of paper. Once the task was done and over with, I received a call from my commander requesting of me that I go downtown and get several supplies. Some for us, and some to deliver to the Gremory household. Great cuz I was planning to leave the military grounds anyway. I headed over to the stables and walked out with my beautiful purple-eyed white and blue mare, all saddled up. she's not a horse, mind you. she's a Vybo. a steed animal with a nuzzle full of sharp fangs, clawed paws instead of hooves, medium-length pointy ears, a shaggy mane and brush tail. she snorted and clawed at the ground eagerly when i went to bring a cart to put the things I'm about to fill it with, attached it to my mare, and headed over to the exit. 

“HEEEYYYY!” ooof course… what, did you think I’ll make it out of here peacefully without some idiot getting in the way first? We all need a dose of idiocy from others at some point. It’s healthy.

“yes, Floch?” I answered, with all the enthusiasm of an empty bucket, to find the bird nest-headed kid running towards me like he’s in some blasted marathon. He stood in front of me, leaned on his knees and started panting like the typical anime character he is. No really, that kid should work in a theatre or something. He’s just dramatic as shit.

“I’m not backing down from my demand!” he suddenly straightened up and started screaming his… demands. Like some kind of a gang leader.

“And we’re not backing down from our decision. You can’t join the scouts, Floch”

“But I’ve trained my ass off! surely I deserve another chance?!” inner voice, my friend. Please. 

“You still kept failing your tests the last 7 times you said that”

“no, it’s because Captain Levi doesn’t want me to join!”

“neither does Major or the commander herself. Don’t blame your failure on others just because you aren’t aware of your mistakes. It’s obvious you’re not trying hard enough if you barely make this so-called ‘progress’ you claim to have achieved.”

“why, you…!!!” and it started. He desperately launched at me the second I said something he didn’t want to hear. Typical. Someone needs a cold splash of reality on their face.  
I caught ahold of his arm before he made his failed attempt to punch me or whatever it was he was gonna do. Then with a quick jerk of my upper torso, I knocked him to the ground.  
With that being settled, I got ahold of Vex who snorted angrily and ushered her away before she tries to attack him. That’s enough, hun. poor thing can’t sustain further damage. There there.

“That’s how strong you are, Floch. We don’t accept that level at our legion”. then I walked over to his hilariously slouched form on the ground and kneeled beside him “you simply don’t have what it takes. If you did, then you would’ve joined us a long time ago. The superiors don’t refuse you out of meanness, but you’ll most likely get your ass handed to you on the first encounter if not killed. You simply wouldn’t last”.

Then I got up and walked over to my mare who has been waiting patiently while I was giving that buffoon a crystal clear reason why he’ll never find his place among us. Hopefully, it’ll make it through that thick blasted skull of his. I hopped on my mount. By the time I did, the loser was already getting up from the ground dusting himself.

“I won’t… stop trying. I will… join the scouts”. Yup, his skull is definitely thicker than I have envisioned it. Love the melodramatic pause between his words though. See what I mean when I said that kid belonged to the acting section, not the military?

That reminds me…

“Another reason why we don’t want you with us” I said from atop my vybo. “It’s because you turn into one emotional crybaby when things don’t go your way. You easily panic on short notice and shit yourself whenever danger strikes. Not to mention initiation of unnecessary conflicts, picking up fights over the dumbest reasons and God knows what else trouble you like to cause during your freetime. You simply have no control over your emotions or behavior whatso-fucking-ever. This isn’t how a soldier acts. Act like one or so help me!” and with this last piece of info being said, I started turning my vybo around to put some distance between me and the maniac that’s long enough so I wouldn’t be within hearing range of his hellish shrieking voice. And that’d mean hundreds of miles away. Dunno about you but I happen to own a set of ear drums to worry about. I need them. I really do. What he said next stopped me in my tracks.

“How the hell can I convince you??”

“It’s not just your abilities, it’s about who you are as well.” I informed him from above my shoulder “if you can’t work on your skills, work on your personality. Only then will you be more tolerable. In other words: grow up.” Before I allowed this conversation to go longer than what I have patience for, I cantered away. Only switching to full on gallop once I had exited the main gate.

I know what you’re thinking. 

I’m a jerk. I know.

You probably expected me to be nicer and shower Floch with sweet phrases like “you can do it” “you need to work harder” “someday you’ll be accepted” but that’s just giving him false hope. I don’t have any pride or fun in bringing others down and make them feel shit about themselves. But with someone like Floch, you just lose all sympathy. I wanted to encourage him, Really. If only you knew the measures he would take to get amongst our ranks, encouraging that psycho would be like adding fuel to fire.

He literally forces himself on us and tries to join our expeditions uninvited. One time we were leaving the gates and he was speeding in our direction with his horse “demanding” that he tags along. No one had time for his asshatery. Problem is, taking him with us is basically like leading the guy to his demise. So we had Kojou smuggle us away through one of his magic portals. Clever, no?

He’d sneak into our legion barracks and start annoying the ever living hell out of those who were unfortunate enough to happen to be there. There’s already bad blood between him, Jean and Eren. but he also has a suicidal knack for getting on Captain Levi’s bad side.

Captain Levi, bless him, is the one who puts up with Floch’s crap the most. Mostly because Major Nanaba and the commander wouldn’t exactly feel cooperative whenever it’s about Floch.  
Major Nanaba barely puts any effort to even acknowledge the guy’s presence. When she does, the words “go to Levi” are on her tongue each time Floch approaches her with yet another useless test on mind - something the Captain would reprimand her about - Otherwise, his presence to her is like a fleeting unseen spirit. 

The commander, on the other hand, does notice he’s actually around. But she takes him as seriously as one would with a mentally impaired 9 year old who just had their sniff of cocaine. Normally she’s a mature sensible woman. But when Floch is within her vicinity, she just loses it. She’d restrain her giggles at the sight of Floch’s hard-to-take-seriously determined face. And everything he says, she’d make a joke out of it in the form of professional puns.

You may not know, but the highest ranking official in the scouting legion is a pun master. One time Floch was butthurt again about their refusal to let him join. The commander raised a pickle at his face with the phrase “dill with it”. 

There was also this one time when the Captain became even grumpier, his scowl was enough to melt the paint off the walls, as he saw Floch coming our way and the captain already knew what he was in for. The commander was eating an orange then, so she put her arm around the captain with the orange in hand and here’s what she said: “orange you happy to see him? Kukukuku!”. Needless to say, it didn’t help his mood one bit.

We were having Sushi one time when Floch unsurprisingly walked in and… you already know what he wants. He said that he had ‘undergone intense training’. No one batted an eyelash except for the commander who had chimed in with “sounds fishy”.

You might slaughter me for this one but Annie was having one of those breath mints (yum) after having flipped Floch to the ground when he tried to challenge her to a mockfight. “It was never mint to be!” followed by a roaring laughter came from the commander.

And please bear with me on this one: during one of the tests, Floch had finally made a good move that seemed completely out of his character but definitely wasn’t enough of a ticket to the scouting troops. The commander was standing next to a boulder that we use to mark the boundary of the training yard and to scribble obscenities on. Guess what she said this time? Yup, here’s her reaction to the whole thing: “you ‘rock’!” with a small thumpsup and a happy grin. Jean was eating a banana then and Floch was feeling down about flunking a test for the umpteenth time. The commander pointed at Jean’s banana being like “are you peeling well?” not gonna deny; this one pulled a few giggles out of everyone – with Jean almost chocking on his banana - except the captain. 

This is the last one! I promise! We were getting ready for a trip and Floch was throwing a temper tantrum over not being able to come with us that I could’ve sworn that I saw him tear up a little. Then, with an all serious face that means business, the commander reprimanded him by wacking him on the noggin with a small bag telling him to “stop being such an emotional package” with a tone that didn’t suggest she just said a blasted pun.

And that summarizes the pun list cuz if I kept going, ya’ll will come at me holding your torches and pitchforks.

And if the way Floch keeps persisting to join a place where he doesn’t belong isn’t bad enough, you have his behavior which plays a huge factor against his chances to be accepted and would get punished mostly by none other than our lovely hot tempered captain.

One time he accidently traced mud across the recently wiped floor on our regular Sunday cleaning . Soon after, mud was followed by blood, which… got cleaned up as well.  
He once banged hard on the table during one of his rage fits promptly spilling the Captain’s tea on an important document he’d been working on for hours. Knocked out teeth and twisted joints were the consequences he had to endure.

Then a neardeath incident where a really excited Floch pushed open a door unnecessarily hard and it hit the captain in his back. Something he could normally brush off. But alas, with the likes of Floch, the captain’s patience is murderously little to none. He jumped on the kid with the sadistic intent to lay harm on every bone, flesh, organ and tendon he could lay his hands on. But we managed to stop him, not only to prevent another casualty, but because we were in a hurry back then. I remember the words he hissed out like a toxin with a non-too gentle grip on Floch’s shirt: “I’m going to eat you, then I’ll use your bones to floss my teeth!” the look on the captain’s face was enough to ward off evil spirits. The kid was shaking in the knees and I think I saw what looked like a small wet spot between his legs but that could’ve been my imagination.

But this one was when Floch tried to touch Mikasa’s hair. He has a crush on her and an unrequited one for that matter. the captain took that as sexual assault, or at least that’s how it seemed, and pulled the kid from the scalp and banged his head against the wall with a very clear warning to “never go near her again or I’ll mark this wall with your face”. So he tries to approach her when the captain is not around. The other two higher-ups aren’t as protective because the kid is practically harmless and Mikasa is more than capable of tearing him a new hole should he try something dumb. But you know how Ackermans are. And also because the captain doesn’t like him anyway.

You might think I’m exaggerating the captain’s actions, or that he’s just being needlessly brutal. But thing is, Floch is a Digimon shifter – so are Annie and Eren – these guys heal pretty fast with high pain threshold so it opens the way for endless beatings without any fear of serious damage. Of course the captain doesn’t use that as an excuse to play executioner whenever he pleased. But, like I said, the captain just doesn’t like Floch! Simply can’t stand him! Can’t exactly blame him considering the previously mentioned reasons.

‘let me join’ this, ‘I’ve gotten stronger’ that. and no matter how many times one of the superiors take him to the training yard, he never turns out as good as he claims to be.  
Y’see, whenever someone decides to join us, whether permanently or just a guest member, you have to go through our trial of skills first under the supervision of one of the superior officers. 

If you’re good enough, you’re in.

But if you’re as bad as Floch is, then you’re out of luck.

The test can be taken as many times as wished. But if you make squat progress with honing your skills, then we have every right to lose hope that you simply won’t make it. no hard feelings, bud.

Being a good fighter isn’t just what it takes to join us. We also need to know who you are as well. Logically speaking, we don’t allow strangers into our legion. Only allies we really trust can be let in on what we do. Anyone can join Trost or the MPs, but with a private branch that’s composed of special operation elite squads, we have conditions for you to fulfill.

* * *

apparently I must’ve been busy thinking about that nitwad and his douchebag shenanigans cuz I’ve reached the shopping district before I even realized it. I didn’t even register I was there until I’ve heard people’s chatters from everywhere in the distance. Curse you to damnation, Floch. Always a bugger even when you’re not around.

I pulled out my phone after I have slowed Vex down to a walk. Until we had entered the area, I scanned the list of things the commander has messaged me. She even split the list in two so I could tell between our belongings and what should go to the Gremorys. Mind you though, the commander’s way of texting can make you mistake her for a teenager. But then again, that’s just part of her charm, Don’t you agree?

_Our stuf _

_Apples. Za red 1s, not gren. _

_bananas. Make shore there fresh. _

_bread. _

_Juice. _

_Pick any typ. _

_bandges _

_ointmnts _

_medikal thred _

_condoms! _

_Lol jk jk_

hehe very funny, commander. I switched over to the Gremory’s list that was located in a separate message.

_Ze Gremoirs. Gremlins. Dmn autocorct! _

_Pinapples._ Aw no fair! I want pineapples too! Oh well.

_Cucumbr. _

_grap juice. _

_More bread _

_Condomns. _

_Zis tim I;m srs XD XD XD_

Well shit.

There’s a third message too. Wonder what it says._ I’m sorry if its 2 much hunny. If u need hlp. Jst call for some1._ Nothing makes my heart flutter more than a concerned superior. You must have thought that the commander was cruel to make me get all that crap on my own. but If she didn’t think I was up for the job, she wouldn’t have assigned me for it in the first place. no worries. Nothing I can’t handle.

Ok. Sigh. Let’s take this step by step, shall we? I decided I should start with the food supplies first. Cuz the pharmacy was still way down the road. I initially thought about getting all our supplies first then go for the Gremory’s, but that wouldn’t be smart cuz that would just mean going to the same shops back and forth. A few minutes later and I was minding my business picking up some fruit when someone approached me.

“h-hey..” I looked up from the pile of apples to see what the guy wanted. Oh great, he’s blushing. He’s definitely blushing. I never mentioned it but I’m kinda good at reading people. And this guy is like a children’s book. What he said next falls under that category.

“hi, um.. can we be friends?” What. The actual. Fuck. I expected more of a reasonable topic like ask for directions, where the breakfast section is, what time is it, but this 9 year old thing to say? I gave him a revolted look then with a scoff, I took what I picked and left without so much as a “go fuck yourself”. Good thing I was done here anyway when he decided to come at me. I never understand people like him. Like, did he live under a rock his entire life or what? He even seemed older than me which is sad. Anyway, let’s switch to a more important topic; Those pineapples aien’t gonna pick themselves.

To make a long story short, I picked all the edible goodies then made my way back to Vex, who had been waiting patiently under the shade of a tree, to store the items in the cart.

“I’ll be back again, sweetie. I won’t be late”. I coed to my Vybo as I patted her neck before I went back to business. I had to make multiple trips seeing as I had so many things to bring. I made sure to put our things on one side and the Gremory’s on the other. the friendship guy was nowhere insight so the whole ordeal was uneventful. Good riddance.

Food items. Check. Now to go for the medical supplies. We sure as hell need them considering our line of work. if you looked into the Gremory’s medical supply list - or lack thereof - you’ll only find.. ehem, an entirely different item. Insert Lenny face here, thank you. I made it all the way back inside until I’ve finally walked through the pharmacy doors. I opened the list again to revise what I need to bring. With the items memorized in my head, I picked up the necessities. and by that I meant the items for treatment and… protection.

Gotta admit, even though I’m no virgin – with Kojou and Yaze as my partners in bed- I still felt kinda curious when I walked in the sex isle. And lemme say that walking in a corridor surrounded by shelves full of items that are used for copulation activities is like walking through Wonder Land. Even though there were just condoms and lubes - cuz this is only a pharmacy not a full blown sex shop - they were still helluva lot more interesting to look at than cucumber and tomatoes!

I mean what is this? Windex? There’re also other brands like Naturelle, Regular, Ribs & Dots. This one had a picture of a condom covered with little bumps and – holyshit! This one has spikes littered all over it! is this thing even comfortable to have inside you?? People who use types like these must have holes of steel!

dunno what type the Gremorys want but I sure as hell aien’t gonna call my commander and ask her to tell them “hey guys. What type of condom do you need!” yeah... no. I decided I should just go for something regular so I picked Windex. Wonder if they used many types before, especially the spiky one, but their sex life isn’t something I should think about. I really don’t know what the hell type of people that’d go shamelessly ask their friends to buy them condoms. guess this is just how comfortable they are with us. The commander herself didn’t seem to mind. Then again, she wouldn’t mind what most people find weird. Her open-mindedness knows no limits.

Bringing lubricants was never on my list of assignments but one look can’t possibly hurt, yes? I’m done with my chores anyway and there’s nothing else to bring on the lists so might as well take my time. What have we here? Durex Play. Slick Dicks Much Better Than Spit. okay? kinda explicit for a brand name, dont’cha think? Oh hehe, this one is called Booty Relief! Next to it is another one called Astroglide. Spit Lube. Even though we have little use for these things, i shamelessly admit that I’m tempted to try Booty Relief.

Call us old fashioned but we really have little to no use for these things. But the temptation is terrible. Should I get one? Like I said, We never really needed such things. this is probably for people who can’t get wet enough down ‘there’ anyway. Though I’ve heard of other benefits for lubes such as increasing your sensitivity and arousal and whatnot. No problem with the last part but sensitivity? Oh my! See now what I meant about temptation? Ok ok. Let’s compromise. Pick the cheapest one. At least if we didn’t like it, then 10 dollars wouldn’t sound as much of a waste.

And before I could stop myself, my hand snatched the bumped condom. What? Why’re you looking at me like that? we may have less use for condoms than lubes. Cuz we sure as hell don’t have any diseases – further confirmed by our medical test results – and the guys pull out before they ejaculate inside the girls. While the girls cum inside whoever they want without fear. But look at this one! Just look at it! It has spots littered all over it for further stimulation. Take that combined with the lube and it’s a total euphoria! Yup, can definitely hear the screams of pleasure from now.

One last thing before I leave; my eyes fell on one of these yummy breath mints that’s practically screaming at me to buy it. _“hey, green haired bitch! Quit with the goofy staring and come get me!”_ Well, can’t refuse you, Mr. Breath Mint..

* * *

My phone vibrated with a subtle ringtone the second I stepped foot outside the pharmacy doors with a pineapple flavored breathmint in mouth. I opened the message to see it was from C. Levi.

_“hey brat. You doing okay out there?”_ At least he doesn’t give off the impression of a gangsta street performer with his spelling. Hehe. No offense to the commander.

_“I’m fine, Capn. Just finished.”_ I texted back.

_“can I bother you with some tea before you get back?” _

_“can do!”_ Oh Captain, Li. Why am I not surprised?

** _Seventy-eight packages of Lipton later…_ ** _ **lol jk they were just five.**_

I think it’s safe to say that this is the last of them all. I was already on Vex’s back with the cart loaded with all the things from the list… aaand some other extras. Now shall we go to the Gremory estate?

* * *

The trip took faster than expected. But here we are in front of the big gate that leads to the vast front garden. I was already off my mare, the shopping bags in hand after making extra sure that I didn’t forget or mix anything up, and rang the doorbell that set off with a buzz. After what seemed like a few minutes, the gates opened and in I walked while pulling Vex from her reins to move her along.

I half expected to hear Welcome to Jurassic Park through a megaphone but nope, didn’t happen. what did happen was Issei Hyoudou running in our direction like a puppy coming to greet it’s master.

“hey, K! how are you doing!”

“it’s been a while, Issei. What’s up?” We exchanged our greetings while he took the bags from me. Then he sent this little white haired loli to take Vex somewhere to stay. What was her name again? Niko? Niki? Ah screw it. They didn’t have any steeds and thus the lack of stables. But the garden is big anyway so they can easily make do.

“you really should stay for a cub of tea, Kiri.” Tea definitely sounds tempting after a long day of shopping for bananas and lubes and be on the receiving end of a shitty preschool attempt at socializing. Why not?

“I have to call my commander to let her know. They must be expecting me by now”.

“alright. I’m waiting”. One quick phone call later in which I received the go-ahead from the commander and we were both walking towards the house.

“Rias-Senpai has been itching to see you, you know! Don’t tell her I told you but she picked you specifically to get our things” and by ‘things’, did he also mean the condoms? But I was more concerned about something else he said.

“oh? I’m flattered. But why the interest if I may ask?” before he could answer, the house front doors suddenly opened revealing none other than the red haired devil herself.

Rias Gremory. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit took longer than expected so this might turn into a multi chapter. nothing has happened so far but trust me, drama will ensue in the next chapter.
> 
> on a side note; when that weird fellow approached Kiri in the market, i wasn't being random with the intent to make my fave characters look good while everyone else sucks. this was actually based on a gossip magazine i read when i was little and i thought adding it here might make things a little bit more interesting rather than just a quick shopping scene.


	2. i'm leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckle up cuz the real shit starts here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small PS before we start: the Titan Squad is composed of specific anime characters. it’s only a brief mention so don’t bother with it very much.
> 
> Also Trost is a military branch, not a district. Forgot to mention that.

“so how’s life at the scouting legion?” I skipped the greetings scene right to where we’re all sitting in the formal looking yet comfy living room with a cup of tea to have our conversation over.

“it’s amazing. Being a soldier changed my life completely. We go on missions and monthly expeditions to discover more uncharted areas” Sip. “Not to boast but most of these places were actually discovered by us”.

“That explains why that location in the east opened up all of a sudden. Must be the scouts handy work!” she said with a wink then took a sip from her cup. “I’ve also heard that the Titan Squad had used that spot as a checkpoint”.

“The Titans are good allies of ours. We’re glad to be of service” these guys were so grateful that Genos-Senpai sent a basket of fruit, candy and… a few packages of top tea brands that a certain someone was oh so darn happy to see.

“where were you before you joined the scouts?”

“me and Yaze used to be members of the Lion King organization whom we would be assigned by to handle supernatural phenomena and magic related events. Kojou wasn’t a member but he’d join us on our missions and had been a great help owing to his vampiric powers” Those were the days. The three of us are actually childhood friends. We formed our very own trio no matter what our affiliations were. “…. Then we quit the organization to join Paradis military. We still have our magical weapons though and would use them occasionally alongside the gear.”

“I’ve heard that it's not easy to join the scouting legion” yeah tell me about it. just ask Floch! Then she took another sip after her remark. She must be taking incredibly small sips considering that she’s still drinking from that thing ever since our conversation started over 45 minutes ago. Maybe she finished the cup but pretends to keep drinking to look fancy. I accidently made a constipated face trying to hold in laughter. Luckily, she didn’t notice as she ‘sipped’ from the cup again while keeping her eyes on the table separating the two seats.

“how the three of us joined is quite the story actually.” I started. Voice a bit shaky from holding in giggles that got either unnoticed or brushed off. “First off, you have to let the scouts know who you are first as strangers aren’t allowed. However, we’ve actually been getting in constant contact with them back when we were stuck at Trost. And things escalated from there. before we knew it, they were opening their arms to us.” I remember how proud we were when we’ve first donned the scouting legion cape. It’s the only branch that actually does this sort of thing.

“why would the scouts do that? normally military formations allow new recruits regardless of their backstory.”

“well, who said we’re normal?” I shrugged while helping myself to a third refill from the kettle while Rias was still on her first cup. I really wanna take a look inside it the nearest opportunity I get to see how much is left there. she’s taking too damn long with it! “the scouting legion have a ‘no strangers allowed’ policy since we’re a closed branch. So not anyone can simply join, permanent or guest. And even if we knew who you are, there’s the trial skills to worry about.” She made a hum that had the tone of ‘I see I see’ and the millionth sip was taken from her cup in the last hour. aren’t you gonna finish that thing already? Then I felt a small vibration in my pocket and that’s when I knew I’m wanted back home. So I gently placed the cup on the table and prepared to take my leave.

“thank you for the tea, Rias. I enjoyed having this conversation with you but I’m afraid I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’d better get back before they add me to the MIA file” I chuckled while getting up feeling my legs stretch.

“can’t pressure you to stay, hun. Want me to send someone to accompany you back?”

“there’s absolutely no need for that.” I waved her off with a grateful smile. As she accompanied me to the exit, I saw Issei and the black haired girl who giggles too much cleaning up the place.

“Captain Levi would’ve been so proud” I commented merrily as I saw those two wiping down the surfaces with their mouths and noses covered with bandanas. They both smiled amusedly at my remark if the look on their eyes was anything to go by. “I wish I could stay and help. But I guess I’ll have to bail on you!”

“you like cleaning, Kiri?” asked Rias with her hands on her hips.

“well if you live with my squad captain, you’ll have to get used to it at some point. His cleaning standards are impossible, let me tell you what” then I said something I didn’t know I’d regret later. “hey, how about you call me for help the next time you do these chores?”

* * *

After I have went back home, I let jean, Yaze and Air Groove take care of the groceries not excluding the fact that I had pocketed the lube and condoms to smuggle them in my room. But not before letting the superior know that I’m back.

I laid down on my stomach on the bed looking at the dirty items I actually had the heart to buy. What was I thinking? Not that I’m regretting it but did i really just blow a bit of our budget on these things? On the other hand, they were cheap so no need to feel guilty over going bankrupt from buying fuck tools. Thing is, will we even like them? Suppose we did, are we gonna keep using them or is it gonna be a one time thing? This subject of discussion should be had with none other than my two idiot boyfriends. Should they approve of my scandalous deed, I’ll be more than happy to give these two buffoons the time of their lives. I’m mostly bottom but I can be a pretty good top too! Same goes for Yaze but with a horny vamp like Kojou, guy can be a total alpha in bed. But once I unleash these secret weapons, he’ll practically beg me to take him.

Before I had anymore diabolical thoughts on what to do with the items, I heard footsteps nearing the door so I hid my two naughty secrets under the pillow so fast I barely even saw my own hand moving. Oh. It’s Marcus.

“Kiri. The commander wants to see you”.

* * *

“Ah, Kiriha! The soul I have been looking for!” so she didn’t figure out about the lube and condoms after all. Don’t ask me how she could’ve known about them when they were safely tucked into my jacket. But you know the effect of paranoia on one’s imagination. “Rias just called me and kept praising the hell out of you until I ran out of words to thank her! just what did you do!”

“Bought them condoms?” I smirked while diverting my eyes sarcastically. Seriously, what has gotten Rias so worked up? not that I’m not flattered but there has to be reason why she pays me so much attention. Does she wanna hook me up with one of her servants or something?

“no favor, kindness or good deed is bigger and more appreciated than buying condoms for your friends and loved ones~” she joked sighing dramatically. “that made me curious. What type did you get for them?” I told her about it as well as the colorful brands I’ve found and when I went to the part about the spiky one, she looked torn between giggling and sputtering.

“oh yes, haha! It might not look it but that type doesn’t tear out your insides! This is actually made for the maximum stimulation, know what I’m saying!” she said wiggling her eyebrows in a way worthy of an internet meme.

“huh..” that was my response as I put a hand to my chin letting it all sink in. so I guess it was just a normal harmless condom and not a torture device. should I have bought that one? Speaking of which, I considered telling her about the ‘extras’ I got today but that’d be for another time. We need to get back to the matter at hand. “so what did you need me for, commander?”

“so Rias told me that you’re willing to help out with their chores. Are you really up for the task?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t. they’re our allies, after all. Plus, I could use some practice for Captain Levi’s Sunday cleaning”.

“it’s settled then! It’s also a win-win kind of solution so why the hell not!” she said cheerfully. Her polo tie gleaming under the lights coming from the fancy looking chandelier. “she said that you can come in the early morning to help complete the chores”.

“alright. the early morning then”

_the early morning… _

“alright, everyone. Issei and Akino took care of the lower floor yesterday”. So that’s her name. “now Issei and Kiri shall proceed with the upper floor while Akino and Kiba do some gardening. Now chop chop”. She said as she clapped her hands twice and we all went to do our business decked out in our cleaning gear.

* * *

I was in the middle of wiping down this table in what seemed to be Issei’s room until I noticed the so-called owner’s blushing face as he shamelessly stared at my figure drooling like a total moron. Ah, I forgot! That guy is the pervert of the group! Guess it’s because he got busy yesterday that he didn’t have time for any ogling. Now, any person would be disturbed at the notion of someone popping a random boner for them. But not me! Watch this!

“sorry, pal. But this girl aien’t for the taking!” I smirked from underneath the cloth covering my mouth and nose as I playfully slapped my ass that he can look at but can never touch. His reaction was priceless. He almost looked like he was gonna blow off his balls then bury himself under the floor wood blanks. Instead, he just got back to work mumbling indignantly like a kid who was denied his candy. Heh. That oughta teach him!

_9 hours of intense cleaning later…_

Remember when I said that I was gonna regret offering the Gremories some help? Not because I was sweating in my pussy feeling like I have just been through a hundred expeditions. But because of what happened next. Yup, you guessed it. Already spoiled from the beginning. The night has started to near and I was taking a break in the garden looking at the flowers and some shit like Snow White while enjoying the nice cool air until I heard Rias’s not-so-jolly voice behind me.

“Kiriha Kisaki. We need to talk.” Huh? She never addressed me like that before. Something seemed off. I didn’t break that vase, I swear! I was careful while handling it!

“whatever it was, it was Issei’s doing!” I yelled jokingly. Douchebag had been having the hots for me all day. It was time for some payback. When I was dusting the furniture, he ‘tripped’ and fell right on top of my back. Like I said, you can look but you can’t touch. And while I’m tolerant with harmless staring, this type of horseplay I will not stand for. I got ahold of his collar and tried to mimic commander Hanji’s face when she sees a rare monster species, which I guess worked judging from the pants-shitting look on Issei’s face, and with a passive-aggressive tone, I said something along the line of ‘okay, pal. No more playing nice. Try that shit with me again and I’ll shove your dick up your ass, it’ll pop out your mouth’. I felt kinda bad for being so rough cuz he looked genuinely guilty. He’s a good guy and normally knows when to keep his hands to himself. I don’t know what has gotten into him. Did I have a sticker with the words 'please grope this body' on me while I’m unaware of it?

“I’m not fooling around, missy” ok.. that kinda hurt?

“did.. something happen?” I asked tentatively. Seriously, what’s wrong with her?

“there was an expensive set of earrings I kept on the table in my room and they were gone when I went back to them. You didn’t happen to take them, did you?”

“what?” I didn’t like her tone. Where was she going with this?

“you were the only one in the upper floor when I went to look for them. Issei was with me. Kiba and Akino were in the garden and Koniko was with your horse. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but if you were truthful with me, I’ll forgive you.”

“you’re basically saying I STOLE them!” I snapped. How do you expect me to control my temper when shit like that was being thrown at my face. “come on and say it! isn’t that what you’re trying to imply??”

“don’t blame me for thinking so. there was no one else besides y-“

“I DON’T CARE!” man, did I really lose it. “take better care of your stuff before you go around pointing fingers!!!”

SLAP.

.................

Did that just happen…?

“another reason why I think that you’re the culprit.” She menacingly stated like she just didn’t slap me like the bitch she is. “I’ve heard a rumor that the scouting legion is running low on budget. Try and remember that with an invaluable piece of jewelry standing right before you. Tempting, isn’t it?”

“THE SCOUTING LEGION IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!” I roared. dickwad had really crossed the line. “you can bitch slap me all you want but never stick your nose where it doesn’t belong from your high and mighty palace, pretty princess!” It’s official. All my respect for her has completely gone.

Le SMACK!

Shit, not again!

This time it was from Akino who went for my other cheek. What’s with these sluts and their slapping issues?

“now now, no need to be so rude. Te hee hee!!” cue punch in the nose. No way I was gonna get assaulted like that without fighting back. I never liked that giggly whore anyway. Each time I try and get along with her, she’d be like 'oh hoo hoo' and saunter away wiggling her hips. The reason why I put up with her at all was for Rias’s sake. but considering the circumstances, I saw no need for holding back anymore. She fell to the ground with blood streaming from her nose. Serves you right, demon cunt. I’m not about to let you abuse me like a punching bag without letting it fireback on you in return.

When she got back up, she looked… angry? Finally! An expression that isn’t a total Spongebob-eque! She developed her wings looking ready for combat. Oh goodies! Always wanted to boot her too happy ass anyway! At least I came prepared with my Lustrous Scale sword/bow for times like these. badass motherfucker is specially made for warding off magical creatures and that smiley whore in front of me is no exception. I’m experienced with fighting the likes of her anyway. And judging from her combat skills, she relies heavily on her magic and not pure physical strength. Kill off the former and she’s toast. This should be easy.

“you two have to stop!” if Rias thought I was gonna listen to her – booooy, will she be disappointed. Akino must’ve thought the same as she opened a magic portal where her lightning attacks shoot out from. i dodged and blocked these attacks while getting zapped a little as I was making my way to her until I finally managed to get a good hit on her shoulder spilling some blood. That’s not enough! I wanna drain that bitch of every drop, she won’t even be able to have her period! So I followed up with a Pulsation attack – also known as Resonating Thunder - going straight for her rips. The attack can cause damage or unconsciousness depending on how I use it. I went for damage. She grunted and staggered and got ahold of her side where she was hit and quickly flew up.

it was my chance to switch to bow mode. I shot the blue arrow skywards opening a big blue circle that rained magical energy on us that, while harmless, can suppress demonic powers and cause momentarily dysfunction of electronics. She tried summoning more lightning but poor bitch looked confused seeing her lightning bolts fading away all of a sudden as her magic got negated with my own. That was my chance to shoot another arrow. Now these arrows, if shot at a physical target, can actually cause some damage. And for her stomach I went. She dropped down connecting hard with the ground. That was my chance!

i quickly switched to the sword and charged towards her with the tip pointing at her leg. I wasn’t going for a lethal attack (too bad) I just wanna shut her up. she’s a demon anyway with high pain threshold so having a Great Sword impaling her femur shouldn’t be too big of a problem anyway.

CLING

What the!

My sword was obstructed by another and when I looked at the cockblocker, it was none other than Akiba, Rias’s knight. I felt bad all of a sudden. I used to get along with him and here I am attacking his friend right in front of him. I lowered my sword then backed off a little. Might as well stop before someone does something regrettable. That’s when a force knocked me away and I fell to the ground a few feet further. With shaky hands, I forced myself up to see it was Rias with her hand raised and demonic energy was emanating from it.

Oh…

I got up while leaning on my sword like a crutch cuz, really, I can’t take anymore of this. I’ve been spending the entire day wiping down shit from surfaces all while putting up with Issei’s sexual frustration. And now I fought a demon and got attacked by another. I can barely catch my breath. I stared at everyone from between my tussled bangs shaking and panting my ass off. Rias looking bitchy. Issei looking shocked and no longer horny. Akiba helping Akino up while giving me a look of disapproval. And Koniko (finally knew her name) just arrived at the scene with a ‘wtf’ look on her face.

“so… this is how it ends.” I could barely raise my voice but I’m sure my words were loud and clear. I started to walk towards the area of shrubs where Vex was being holed up. I have completely forgotten about her. she must be freaking out by now. “and it was all for a pair of stupid earrings..”

“Kir – “ “I get it! to you, I’m a thief!” Aaaand there you have it. happy?

_-insert previously mentioned details-_

As I was galloping home, I kept thinking about all that has transpired just a few minutes ago and before I could catch myself, I started sniffing. I wiped at my nose with my forearm and there I saw blood. Marvelous. But seriously, I’m really hurt. The mental pain taking over the physical one. Let me put it to you this way: I’m shocked. Rias has always been so kind to me. So sweet and generous. Then all of a sudden, she shows me her ugly side just because she thought I stole something from her. how could she?? Then I remembered what she said about the budget thing. Was it true? Is that why the commander made me send that envelope? But I was so furious back there that I didn’t have time to dwell on it. guess I’ll have to ask the commander but not before I tell her what happened first. I must look like a total mess right now and no way she’s gonna answer to anything I’m gonna enquire about before she learns of the more priority-worthy details.

I’ve got a shitton of explaining to do.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You think this is all? Just wait until Hanji finds out XD


	3. earrings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shitton of crossovers, obscenities, and angry commander.

I slowed down to a trot as I neared the gate to our barracks. My big buddy, Jamal the Dobermon, came running at me once he saw the state I was in.

“What the hell happened to you?” wow.. Judging from his tone, I must have looked like I wrestled four crocodiles. Where’s the nearest mirror??? All joking aside, I got off my mare while I can no longer hold my tears in in the midst of my digimon’s concerned onslaught of questions. “I thought you were at the Gremories helping out with their cleaning. Did something happen on the way? Are you alright?? Why are you crying??” not that his concern wasn’t appreciated but I’m not in the mood to explain anything, much less say ‘fuck off’. I cut him off by shoving Vex’s reins in his mouth and gave him a look that said ‘later. Too tired for bullshit’. He understood. He gave a nod then escorted my mare to her stall.

I walked like a 2000 year old mummy to the main entrance of the building. Bloodied. Beaten. Tired as hell and emotionally exhausted. I could hear the sounds of my friends inside which completely contrasted with my condition. The nearer I got, the more dread I felt at the thought of everyone’s reactions seeing me like this. The first person I’ve sighted once I had opened the doors was my dear Captain Levi. He was wearing his two bandanas while he was busy cleaning a table surface. Cleaning, huh? I was doing the very same thing a while ago until I got rudely interrupted by She Who Must Not Be Named.

If anyone can provide me with support in the meantime, it’s him. You might think he’s a weird choice in that department but I’m telling you; his golden heart can sedate an enraged animal in it’s mating season. He didn’t stop what he was doing as I strolled over to him. Then, with the way of someone who’s ready to bawl their eyes out, I squeezed him in a sideways hug. Nuzzling his bandana. Most likely leaving blood on it. But does anybody care about such details at times like these? If so then name them for me.

I felt him stop moving in my arms. I expected to hear 'what're you doing, shitty brat'. but apparently that changed as soon as he heard the sob that escaped me. So Instead, I felt a kind and gentle hand stroking my hair and, shortly after, once he turned around in my arms to properly face me, he hugged back. 

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” my only answer was just hugging him tighter. I really didn’t feel like talking. I just wanna keep crying like a little bitch. But he gently pried my arms off of him and I heard his small gasp of surprise when he finally beheld me in all my shitty glory. He quickly took off his bandana and put it at my nose.

“Blow.” He ordered. I took a deep breath through my mouth and then PFFFFFFFFFFF. Rest In Peace, Bandana. once he finally removed it, he looked like he wanted to contain the snot and blood covered piece of cloth in a biohazard containment box and nuke it.

“hehe..” the sight emitted a weak yet sad chuckle out of me. He sure has his ways of cheering people up, intentionally or not. He flipped the bandana so that it’s clean side was facing outwards then wiped my face of tears, sweat, dirt and blood remains. Once done, he REALLY looked like he wanted to take the bandana and cremate it in a smithy’s oven. I felt two warm hands tenderly cupping both my cheeks in a way that could only be described as fatherly. If only he knew how these cheeks were treated a while ago, his rage will be unstoppable. The superiors are basically like our parents and having someone fuck with us would be like drawing their own death sentence. My, will the Gremories be in deep as hell shit.

“Talk to me, kid. What happened while you were gone?” I shook my head squeezing my eyes shut spilling tears everywhere. I was so hurt and miserable; I didn’t think I could trust my own voice.

“I need… t-to take a shower first…” might as well clean myself up while the captain finishes his chores. He patted my shoulders then gave me another hug around my neck standing on his tippy toes. I didn’t waste another second before hugging back. He pecked me on the cheek then let me go with a final pat on my back.

* * *

“Tell me what happened”. After we both were done with what needed to be done. I was seated next to him on the leather couch in his office with Jamal lying down by us. So far, nobody besides these two has seen me in my condition. I sneaked off to the general bathroom instead of the private ones in the dorms cuz I didn’t wanna face anyone there. I even showered in a seated position as I could barely stand. Even my left knee slightly ached. Now that all traces of conflict are gone and that I didn’t look like I have been cleaning and fighting against supernatural beings, I was sat there next to my squad captain nuzzling the side of his chest while he put his arm around my shoulder stroking my hair lovingly. Well.. Time to talk.

“Something happened between me and Rias.” I paused to swallow. “She accused me of something awful.”

“What did that disgustingly spoiled princess whore say to you??” I heard the apprehension in his voice. He hadn’t even learned anything and he’s already prepared to kill a bitch. Literally. I leaned with my elbows on my knees to get ready to spit out the good part.

“She thought I stole a pair of earrings from her”.

At first there was silence, then came his reply. “What the fuck crawled into that slut’s brain to make her think of such a thing??”

“It’s because I was the only one around when they were gone and she took that as evidence against me.” I leaned back against the couch as I further explained.

“That’s not enough!” growled Jamar as he stood up straighter. “You’re a wonderful person, Kiri. If an asshole comes and accuses you of shit like that, then it’s obvious they don’t know you all that well or just plain stupid!”

“Well, tell her that.” I said completely disappointed at Rias’s said assholery.

“I think it’s both.” chimed in the captain.

“So what did you do about it? you did defend yourself, did you?” oh crud! Now I’ll have to tell him about the pandemonium that happened next.

“heh. You have no idea..”

* * *

“THAT WORTHLESS PIECE OF SPOILED ROYAL DONKEY SHIT!!!” I wasn’t surprised at the commander’s reaction. When I told the captain and Jamal everything, he suddenly stood up taking me from the arm with my digimon following right behind us and headed directly to the commander. He didn’t even interrupt me as all the details poured out of my mouth. And with the way he handled it silently and went straight for the higher ranking official without any word, it became clear that this is more serious than I thought.

“It’s bad enough how filthily she thought of Kiri, but she actually had the audacity to lay a hand her.” Agreed the captain looking disgusted like when he sees someone picking their nose.

“You said she slapped you??” inquired the commander looking murderous as all hell. I nodded.

“Akino did, too. Then I lost it and punched her in the nose causing a battle to start between us. When Akiba stopped us, Rias shot me before I made another move”. The commander looked ready to flip a table.

“THAT DIRTY TRAITORUS WHORE! FUCKING CUNT CROSSED THE LINE!”. She banged hard on the table causing a small quake, I could’ve sworn the walls cracked. Jean was rubbing her back while Ed batted her shoulder. By now, the entire corps have learned the news.

“But you’re okay, sweetie, aren’t you??” Major Nanaba inquired worriedly even if looking just as, if not more, angry as the other two officials.

“I’m okay. No injuries. My nose bled a little and my body aches. But I cleaned up and took a rest.” I honestly informed her.

“We’ll never let anyone treat you like this.” she embraced me protectively. “Any motherfucking scumbag who dares outstep their Goddamn boundaries with any of you won’t get away with it intact.” I felt myself melting into her embrace taking in her strawberry scent. You heard me.

“She said the scouting legion is bankrupt which was also another reason why she thought I’d resort to stealing. Is it true?” it had better not be. Lack of funds means no gear. no food. no Wi-Fi!

“She said that?” asked the commander with an eerily low tone, which’s only the calm… “FUCKING SEMEN ODOR DIPSHIT HAS SO MUCH BALLS!” …before the storm. She took a few deep breaths and once she had regained her composure, she started with the explanation.

“We’re alright, Kiri. It was just a rumor that must have started at the post office when you slipped them that envelope. A fucktwat MP probably saw you there and you know how they stick their swine noses where they shouldn’t belong and once they open their stinking as shit mouths, misunderstandings start to spread. To them, asking for more funds must mean we’re running low and they wouldn’t shut up about that. But we’re far from it; we have enough to buy two jet planes and a ship. The reason why I asked for the extra budget so that we could buy materials for the allies.”

“This isn’t the first time the assholes from the military police get someone hurt in the process because of stunts like these." What Major said next was plain crazy. “One time they spotted a Trost official holding hands with one of his subordinates. They jumped to the conclusion that these two were involved in an illegal affair and that got them into a shitload of trouble. Turned out the kid just hurt his leg and the guy was just supporting him.”

“The reason why I haven’t barged in on those pigs in their pigsty and slaughter them the way they deserve it is because we don’t want to dub the scouts as murderers.” Snarled the captain gritting his teeth. Wow.. Guess I should be careful around them from now on. Who knows what type of small unintentional details they might use against us?

“And thanks to them, it made Rias think she has the right to spout some shit out of her dick-fucked mouth. Oh so naïve, that little pimp.” The commander is right. None of this would’ve happened had Rias been any smarter.

“So all this ruckus because bitch thought you stole her stupid earrings?” facepalmed Marcus looking disbelieved. Heck, I don’t believe it myself.

“Since when do they think shit like that of us? Don’t they fucking trust us??” this is Edward’s turn to state his irritation, still putting his hand on the fuming commander’s shoulder.

“We have to do something about them, commander. This is considered a high offense.” Stated Air Groove swishing her horse tail aggressively. “I never even liked them anyway. They looked like a bunch of stuck-up rich dickholes who will throw a tantrum over every lost expensive possession they own and I was right.”

“I guess now is a good time to mention that I never managed to get along with anyone of them anyway.” You too, Jean? “In fact, that Issei guy is the one I wanna a pick a bone with! He tried to flirt with my Mikasa!”

“He kept calling me Strawberry Lips. Sugar Cheeks. Sex Doll. He even once said I have killer thighs. I never cared for anything he said as long as he kept his hands to himself.” She stated. It was for Issei’s personal safety to at least have the decency to not make a move. Who knows what kind of damage Mikasa would’ve afflicted on his body had he tried such a thing. Suicide, I tell ya. Ackermans are no laughing matter.

“Immoral sonuvabitch thinks he can just stick his dick wherever he pleases.” Eren, too? Then again, it’s not surprising considering the guy’s temperament. “He can go really far, it’s downright provoking. I actually punched him once to get him to shut up.”

"He once stroked my leg with that perverted look on his face and I marked it with my horseshoe where I kicked him." Complained Air Groove. heh, I remember that one! It was on the day we've first met with the Gremories when we helped them take down that B-level pesky monster somewhere at the outskirts. We were just returning from that expedition at the east until we passed a group of guys with wings trying to subdue the motherfucker and we offered a helping hand. With some good teamwork, vigilant maneuvers, sword slices here and there and the thing was down in no time. Heck, it only took a few of us and not the whole group. It was commander Hanji that made the final blow with a fatal gash to the neck. It's at times like during the battlefield when her strength and ferocity reach maximum levels. 

Once the thing was down and done with, the devils approached us and we saw potential allies in them. It was only natural they thank us and it was only natural we agree to keep in touch. As they were talking, Issei snuck up behind Aero and made his first impression on her which.. didn't exactly end well for his facials. Luckily, there weren't many witnesses..

Protecting her virtue wasn’t the only reason why she reacted so violently. Air Groove is a feisty horse girl in general and prefers her personal space. She’s a bit of a misanthrope owing to her uncompromising hatred towards people in general because of an accident she’s once had during one of her early races and only a select few can gain her trust, like us the scouts or allies from other affiliations. So when someone like ol’ Issei does the taboo act of touching her and especially in such an ill-mannered fashion, the results can be bloody. We don’t call her the Empress of the scouting legion for nothing. she’s had that title back when she was a part of the racing derby seeing as she was the fastest horse girl they’ve ever had. No one could rival her speed, strength, intelligence or excellent grades. And when she quit them to join the military where her unmatched brilliance still prevailed – her exceptional 3DMG skills giving her the impression of a Valkyrie - she was one of the top 10 graduates, along with Marcus and Edward. Those three were the last to join the scouts and they’ve been wonderful editions since then. But I digress. In the meantime, we’re still discussing the matter of the Gremories and how to plan their demise.

“I never really cared for them. They never bothered me but they gave me no reason to like them, either.” Annie commented uncaringly shrugging from her place at the table with her monotone voice. “But if that’s how they normally act with others and especially with their own allies, then I say fuck ‘em. We know better people anyway.”

“Damn straight, hun. Damn fucking straight.” the words came out of the commander’s hissing mouth like venom. I almost wanted to feel bad for them. Commander Hanji is a woman of power and authority. If she wanted to get someone in trouble, the hole she’s gonna dig for them will be soooo deep, they’ll have to claw their way out.

“I still can’t believe they acted that way.” said a disheartened looking Yaze. He’s actually the friendliest guy in the corps and he’s the one that got along with Gremoshits the most, so I understand where he came from. “They used to be such good friends to us and then they had to go and ruin what’s between us over a dumb piece of jewelry. Just what the hell were they thinking?”

“I’m kinda upset about this as much as you are. But if these are their true colors, then they don’t deserve our friendship.” Kojou spoke the truth and Major Nanaba was there to confirm it.

“You got that right, K. no way someone shits around with us like that and still call themselves allies.”

“It’s official. Our alignment is over.” Was the commander’s final comment on the ordeal.

* * *

I was sitting on the edge of the bed later that night, still contemplating all what had transpired so far. The shock over losing those so-called ‘friends’ had long gone ever since I’ve come to terms that they no longer deserve our trust or respect. Fuck you, assholes… I bought you your damn condoms and you show gratitude by blasting me with your demonic lazers??

Now what occupied my head was another matter; what exactly was the commander going to do? Like mentioned earlier, she’s a really influential woman. The position of the highest ranking official in the survey corps is not to be taken lightly. She can even be dangerous if need be and if someone hurts us, she can counterattack with twice as much. And considering the heated fight between me and those guys, she’ll show squat mercy. Can’t imagine her unleashing her Megadramon, Kaiju, on them to lay waste on their entire house. That’d be too extreme a measure, not to mention unfair - even if they kind of deserve it. The commander is bigger than that. She’s fair at handing out the proper punishments according to how severe the offense is.

For instance, a corrupted MP has committed sexual assault on a poor civilian during one of his patrols. The commander had the pig castrated using one of those weird torture devices they own in the attic while the other two superiors beat the shit and whatever ejaculate left out of him. The rest of us provided medical care for the broken victim then accompanied them back home.

One time, a Trostian got greedy so he sneaked into the branch’s storage facility and stole the cash which was supposed to go for emergency medical supplies for the sick and injured. Of course everyone was shocked at the sudden lack of funds required to get the treatment so, ultimately, the patients didn’t make it. Eventually the MPs caught the bastard and were planning for an agonizing execution but commander Hanji wasn’t having any of that – we’ve just gotten back from an expedition then and witnessed the commotion on the way - She demonstrated her wrath by pulling out her blade and sliced both the guy’s arms in one go, then proceeded to torture him with quick slices all over his body in the midst of his screams. The MPs took him in after that and were never heard from again. Most likely dead.

And this time, she had one of her own get attacked so it’s safe to say that she won’t go easy on the perpetrators. But what she is gonna do in retaliation is beyond me. All I know that the Gremories are in serious trouble for what they’ve done. That is for certain.

I heard a knock on the door and there stood Captain, Li. He looked 10 years younger wearing those pajamas. A pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt can make a guy in his 30’s look misleading to guess his age. Just wait till you see him in his bedhair where his bangs cover his forehead instead of parted. The sight would be indescribable. I couldn’t help but smile at his presence. Underneath that rough exterior lies a kind paternal nature that’s hard to not like. Those who are close to him know that very well and we love him for that.

He sat by my side and brushed my hair with his fingers moving it behind my shoulder and ear. I love it when he does that. This sort of affection is very welcomed between superiors and their subordinates. Like a parent playing with their child. Even when I tie up my hair in a bun to be able to safely use the gear, he still plays with whatever loose bangs he’d find. He does the same with any longhaired individuals like Ed, Marcus or Mikasa. But shorthaired ones like Jean or Yaze, he’d go for ruffling their heads. I swear I see his permanently angry expression soften up with these acts.

“I know you’re upset with what happened today.” He started while putting my head on his lap. “I don’t blame you for crying over losing what were potentially good friends, but they’ve lost that privilege if they treat you like a criminal, so they don’t deserve your tears anymore.”

“I stopped feeling sorry over what happened. But.. can you just imagine the shock I felt when someone like Rias admires you and showers you with praise and affection, then out of the blue, they use this weird tone you’d never have imagined them using against you? ‘Kiriha Kisaki, we need to talk!’” I mocked her making me sound like a grumpy old elementary school teacher. “Even going so far as to slap me when I tried to defend myself. Bitch apparently has too much ego for her own good that she can’t handle someone raising their voice on her a single decibel.”

“She can bitch and whine over her lost dumbass jewels for all i give a shit.” Growled the captain. Apparently, he must be thinking of where to slice her from. “I’m more concerned about the fact that she actually had the balls to hit you. As if accusing you of theft isn’t enough.”

“She’s not the only one. That hyena piece of shit, Akino, participated by nailing my other cheek.”

“And you broke her fucking nose in return! Good girl!”

“Serves her right!”

“Hey~!!” Yaze’s playful voice emerged from the entrance as he cheerfully bounced on the bed behind the captain and hugged his back, letting their cheeks touch.

“Can’t believe that red-haired bimbo went all gangsta on you!”

“And I fired back. Trust me, I didn’t get out of this encounter without causing some satisfying damage.”

“Did someone else bother you?” asked the captain still twirling my hair.

“No. no. Akiba, Issei, and… that cat girl – “

“Koniko.” Yaze reminded.

“Those three had nothing to do with it. And dare I say, I guess they were shaken about this as much as we are.” The sad and shocked faces of those three came to memory. Perhaps they felt remorse over what our relationship has gotten to, or maybe they’ve come to terms with it like I did and thought ‘fuck the scouts’.

“You can still talk to them and somehow, if things went well between you, maintain your friendship with them. Just because their mistress was a total dipshit, doesn’t mean her servants are the same.” All hail Captain Levi and his open-mindedness. Not many people think that way. Whenever someone causes trouble for them, they automatically blame the rest of their family.

Touka Kirishima, Titan Squad, lost her friendship with this girl just because Ayato, a member of The Avengers and Touka’s younger brother, got into a fight with that other girl’s squad mates. The girl typically cut off her ties with Touka under the excuse that her brother was a ‘troublemaker’. She literally got blamed over something another person did just because they were related. Needless to say, she was enraged by such an idiotic mindset. But she never blamed her brother - For Ayato had a legitimate reason for causing friction between them and that other team. And that was taking loots they didn’t have the right to – she directed her anger against the bitch with a proper punch to the teeth. And this, in my opinion, is how people should be treated especially if they’re gonna point their fingers at you because of another person’s act or, in my case, a pair of earrings.

“What if they thought I was in the wrong? What if Rias brainwashed them into believing that I stuff other people’s belongings in my pockets?” I stated my worries. Considering what happened, things may never be the same again. I remembered Akiba’s stink-eye when I was done with wiping the floor with Akino.

“Yeah. They may not want to speak with any of us again after what happened. It’s not like they’ll open their arms to us that easily, not that we’d need them to anyway.” agreed Yaze.

“Then they may as well fuck themselves if that’s the case. Because if they actually trusted us, the thought of one of us stealing something from them would never have crossed their soup for brains. But no matter, what they think about us doesn’t mean shit no more and ending our alliance won’t be such a big loss anyway. If anything, I think it’s for the best if that’s how they really are.” Gotta agree again with the captain’s philosophy.

“So you were being accused of theft, Kiri? Tsk tsk. What douchebaggery.” Here came Kojou who had crossed the room and knelt in front of my head that’s still on the captain’s knee. “I’m sorry this happened to you. If there’s anything we’ve learned from this experience, is that idiots are idiots.” He removed my bangs off my forehead to peck me there.

“Kiss her on the lips, brat.” Captain’s orders. Kojou gave an amused chuckle then obliged. The feeling of his lips on mine combined with resting my head on the captain’s lap felt so sedating. A volcanic eruption could happen at anytime and I wouldn’t give a damn. Once Kojou pulled away, I saw the captain’s hand satisfyingly ruffling Kojou’s head at which he giggled like a chicken.

“When do we make our strike?” I asked.

“First thing tomorrow. No delays.” Replied the captain firmly.

“Rias and Akino are out of the question. But I can’t help but wonder what the other three are thinking of us right now.” wondered Yaze.

“Only one way to find out.” I stated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each time, I’d think this would be the chapter where the scouts take revenge on the Gremories.  
Each time, I’m proven wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> shit took longer than expected so this might turn into a multi chapter. nothing has happened so far but trust me, drama will ensue in the next chapter.
> 
> on a side note; when that weird fellow approached Kiri in the market, i wasn't being random with the intent to make my fave characters look good while everyone else sucks. this was actually based on a gossip magazine i read when i was little and i thought adding it here might make things a little bit more interesting rather than just a quick shopping scene.


End file.
